#0075 FAILURE isn't a four-letter word; fail is
SmallStack Seed Pod #3
When I applied to join the SmallStack Team, I assumed I’d be rejected (imposter syndrome [#0041]). But I was invited to join! Then I assumed my time on the team would conclude with the close of 2024, which coincided with the end of the 6-month assignment (not imposter syndrome).
Yet here I am, still part of the team of lovely people: Cheshir, Sue-Jan Noreiga (she/they), Nospheratt 🏳️🌈, LC Sharkey (they/them), Robin Cangie (she/her), and Robin Taylor (he/him).
We’ve been supporting and connecting the community of lovely small stackers, including Anna Rose, Rachel Shenk, Amanda, Alexa Spiegel, SuddenlyJamie, Lisa Kahn Schnell, Madelleine Müller (she/her), Melissa Cullens, Ramona McCloskey, This is Rachel, ev nichols, phd (she/they), Donna Giles, and Gillian & Li'l Bean.
FYI, I’m launching a new stack called tend&mend. Where together we can nurture with kindness and listen to inspire the magic of acceptance. (Read more about tend&mend.) Please consider signing up for future posts.
I’ve reminisced about some past doings and mentioned some future happenings... Without further ado, let’s dive into the present topic of FAILURE.
The following post is part of a Seed Pod collaboration about failure. Seed Pods are a SmallStack community project designed to help smaller publications lift each other up by publishing and cross-promoting around a common theme. We’re helping each other plant the seeds for growth!
If we want to pursue getting our creative work out into the world, we need to recognize the path to publication is littered with rejection. As Oprah might say, “You get a rejection! And YOU get a rejection! Also you get a rejection!”1
Here at 100 Rejections Club, I’m always talking about the need to embrace rejection. Why? Because rejection shows you’re trying. Because rejection is not a referendum on your work. Because rejection simply means redirection. Because rejection is your best friend.2
Some wise soul3 once wrote: “Failure isn’t a four-letter word; fail is.”
Fail is a verb, a word of action. It’s what you do or, sometimes, don’t do.
You fail when you don’t give yourself the chance to share your creativity.
You fail if you believe a rejection is about you (yes, even if the piece is memoir, self-portrait, autofiction).
You fail when you don’t follow usable constructive feedback and pivot.
You fail if you cling to your fear of rejection so tight you can’t try.
And like a Möbius strip, you’ve looped yourself all the way back to the beginning.
Failure is a noun, a label, perchance an identity? Unlike the verb, which you should expunge along with other curse(d) four-letter words from your vocabulary,4 there’s a fail-safe5 for failure: Reframe.
Many ways to embrace rejection involve reframing. So often we have a split-second emotional reaction to rejection that we then ruminate on until it becomes our hard-wired response.
Instead we can choose to pause, giving the flight-fight-freeze (#0012) emotional reaction its 90 seconds (#0018) to wash over us and recede like the ebb and flow of the ocean. We can let go of that single feeling — one of thousands on any given day — and choose another. Something that puts us at ease, that conjures restfulness. Perhaps the feeling of our BFF holding us in their gaze, seeing us for who we are. (Maybe befriend ourselves? [#0043]). If we must process a feeling in four stomachs, let’s choose one aligned with self-compassion (#0026). Choose to rest with rejection.
Reframe failure. Let the magic of your mind metamorphose the caterpillar into a butterfly.
Want to see more posts from this Seed Pod or join in on the fun? Head over to our roundup to learn more!
Winter Speedrun Schedule
Create: February 2nd–15th
Revise: February 16th–March 1st
Submit: March 2nd–15th BEGIN THIS WEEK
Embrace the Rejection: March 16th–31st
Next time: How Editors Approach Poetry Versus Prose, Part Two
Anybody remember Oprah Winfrey giving away cars to a whole studio audience on her talk show? More. Than. One. Time.
The ever-(in)famous Anonymous? Nope, just me.
Ditch the foul language, not only because kiddos are like sponges absorbing everything they hear, but also because curse words are the crutch of lazy writers. And boring.
See what I did there?
Love this!! “Reframe failure. Let the magic of your mind metamorphose the caterpillar into a butterfly.” 🦋💖