#0019 Digest with Rest? That’s for the reindeer; Instead, let’s be specific
Taking the sting out of rejection, Part Seven
Last time I shared Dr. Kurland’s article in Greater Good Science Center’s online magazine. Specifically, I saw her recommendation to reframe for a yes as a great way to switch from Fight, Flight, Freeze to Rest.
While I was writing #0018, I kept trying to figure out which of her seven suggestions best fit with the other half of the phrase: Digest.
A tangent
Digest doesn’t seem like it matches with Rest. And Digest is not what comes to my mind as an antonym or reverse of Fight, Flight, Freeze. Actually, I’ve been wondering about the pairing of Rest & Digest ever since I was introduced to the concept during my yoga teacher training year back in the mid-2000s (the aughts/aughties? Sounds only slightly less wacky than the British noughties).
I now believe I’ve finally puzzled through this conundrum. Most of the time, the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) is explained to lay readers as having two parts, the Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Nervous Systems (SNS/PNS). But there’s another part of the ANS: the Enteric Nervous System (ENS). Wanna guess what the ENS is all about? The GI tract! Including control of motility, regulation of fluid exchange and local blood flow, and so much more. In other words:
The ENS is the part of the ANS that regulates the digestive functions of the gastrointestinal tract. It receives internal input from the gastrointestinal tract and external input from the brain and other parts of the ANS to regulate digestion. (Source: Verywell Health)
FYI, the “other parts of the ANS” are the PNS, which encourages digestion, and the SNS, which inhibits digestion.
There’s lots more to the ENS — “your second brain”; “the gut-brain axis” — and researchers are studying potential connections between ENS dysfunction and neurological diseases such as Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s… Everything gets quite hard-core Science-y real fast. Which is why, I’m guessing, for simplicity’s sake the ENS digestive functions get lumped into the PNS Rest & Digest. Not really accurate but good enough for us simpletons? (Sigh.)
End of tangent
After mulling it over (chewing the cud?), I've concluded that the Digest of Rest & Digest doesn’t match up with anything on Kurland’s list. But that’s okay.
Here’s a refresher of the seven recommendations:
Reframe for a yes
Be specific
Develop alternatives
Shift your mindset
Cultivate self-compassion
Plan for discomfort
Create strategies
Kurland warns against vague (“Once the Muse inspires me, I’ll continue my writing journey, maybe someday sharing my work with the world…”) or daunting (“I will get my art portfolio out there, everywhere, before summer, with 0% rejection rate”) goals.
In our 100 Rejections Club frame of reference, her cautions kinda remind me of my rejection of vague and/or daunting New Year’s resolutions (#0014).
Instead of leaving things to chance or hope, Kurland’s second recommendation is that you be specific:
Break things down into small steps that feel “safe” and manageable for you and your nervous system to approach; then come up with a specific action plan that does not leave anything to chance (the nervous system likes things that are clear and predictable).
Once you figure out the smaller, specific steps toward embracing rejection, think about them one at a time.
If you feel Fight, Flight, Freeze when you consider, say, writing 500 words every day, break it down even smaller. Maybe only 250 words or 4 days a week (or both) will give you the clarity and predictability that doesn’t trigger those stressful reactions.
Bonus: no need to wait on the capricious Muse.
Next time: Taking the sting out of rejection, Part Eight